The overall goal of your first message to a potential date on a dating site is to set you and your message apart from the rest and illicit a response. With, potentially, dozens of messages in their inbox, why should they reply to yours? The 6 steps outlined below will help you set your message apart from the rest, and optimize your chances of receiving a response:
- Have a well written profile. Chances are that upon receiving your message, your potential date will go check out your profile before deciding whether to reply to, or even read, your message. An empty profile, or poorly written profile, isn’t going to help your cause. Before even attempting to mail potential dates, get your profile filled-out.
- Have at least one picture up on your profile. Messages from daters with pictures on their profile are far more likely to get responses than those from daters without any pictures. In fact, some sites even have settings where a member can block messages from those without any pictures. Do yourself a favor and add some pictures!
- Comment on something in their profile. Mention a common interest which you discovered that you both share, or perhaps comment on something which you found interesting about them. Commenting on something you discovered in their profile shows that you took the time to read their profile, instead of just sending out a generic cut and paste to hundreds!
- Ask a specific question. Asking your potential date a specific question not only shows that you are interested in learning more about them, but it also makes it very easy for your potential date to have both a reason to respond to you, and something to begin their reply to you with. In essence, you take the work out of it for them; they already know what their reply will begin with — an answer to your question. Ask a specific question about something you read about one of their hobbies, interests, somewhere they traveled to, or something that you noticed in one of their pictures.
- Say that you look forward to hearing from them. Instead of ending with a simple “bye,” end your message with saying that you “look forward” to hearing from them. This parting statement implies that you will be hearing back, which leaves no question to whether they should reply. You have already made up the decision for them!
- Spellcheck. Plz do ur best 2 avoid slang, tYpos & abbreviations in ur 1st message. Show that you can in fact spell and type out entire words. Proper spelling and grammar are your friend!
With all 6 steps followed, rest assured that you have written a super first message!
What strategy do you typically use when messaging a potential date for the first time? Tell us in the comments.
Image Credit: Rennett Stowe